Matthew Willner, LMSW
Relationship Therapy
When the Distance Between You Feels Unbridgable
Relationship therapy is a dedicated space to navigate the complex dynamics of partnership. Whether you’re facing a specific crisis or simply feeling a persistent drift, we work together to rebuild intimacy, resolve long-standing conflicts, and rediscover the connection that brought you together through compassion and curiosity.
How I Work With Couples
My approach draws on Internal Family Systems (IFS), psychodynamic theory, and relational therapy. In practice, this means I'm interested in what each partner brings into the room from their own history — not to assign blame, but because the patterns we develop in relationships rarely start with the relationship we're currently in.
IFS is particularly useful in couples work because it helps both partners get curious about their own reactions rather than staying focused on what the other person is doing wrong. When you can understand what a part of you may be protecting within yourself, it becomes possible to respond compassionately rather than react defensively.
I take an engaged stance—aiming to be a steady presence as we navigate difficult terrain together.
Session Structure
Sessions are structured to provide a safe, collaborative space. We typically meet for 55-minute sessions, allowing us the time needed to go below the surface of the weekly arguments and into the emotional core of the relationship. This consistency provides the containers for growth and sustainable repair.
What We Work On Together
Couples come to me for a wide range of reasons. Some are navigating a specific rupture — infidelity, a major life transition, unhealthy behaviors, or a conflict that won't resolve. Others are struggling with patterns that have been present for years: cycles of withdrawal and pursuit, difficulty with conflict, intimacy that has faded without either partner quite knowing when or why.
Communication and conflict
Learning to have hard conversations without them becoming explosive, and understanding what's actually being asked for underneath the surface.
Life transitions
Major life shifts like parenthood, job changes, loss, illness, and other transitions can put pressure on even strong relationships. Navigating them together brings new challenges, but can also cultivate deeper intimacy.
Identity and growth
Sometimes people change in ways that shift things and may create distance. Therapy can help partners understand and celebrate each other's evolution rather than feeling threatened by it.
Intimacy and closeness
Emotional and physical intimacy are related, and both can erode without deliberate attention. Relationship therapy can help you understand what's gotten in the way and how to find your way back.
Trust and repair
Working through betrayal, broken agreements, harmful behaviors, or accumulated disconnection. Repair is possible, but it requires investment and openness to accountability.
You Don't Have to Be in Crisis to Begin
The distance between you doesn't need to be unbridgable before you reach out for support. Many couples wait until they are in a state of high alarm or deep despair, but relationship therapy can be transformative when you start to notice the early signs—a shift in humor, tension left unspoken, or the realization that you’re having the same circular argument without ever finding a way out.
Alternative Relationship Structures
I work with clients across the spectrum of non-traditional relationship structures, including nonmonogamy, polyamory, and kink. I offer a knowledgable and affirming space that celebrates all identities and relationship configurations.
Sessions are 55 minutes long and my fee for relationship therapy is $275 per session. I practice virtually, allowing for flexibility and comfort in your own environment. To ensure we are a good match for your journey, I provide a free 15-minute initial consultation.