IFS Therapy
Matthew Willner, LCSW is a Certified IFS therapist offering Internal Family Systems therapy to individuals and couples in New York, New Jersey, and Colorado.
What IFS looks like in everyday life
You probably already talk this way. “Part of me wants the new job. Part of me is terrified of rejection.” “I know I need rest, but something in me won’t let me stop.” IFS takes that ordinary language seriously and gets curious about it.
The idea is simple. The reactions that frustrate you usually have a reason behind them. The voice that criticizes you, the habit you can’t shake, the way you go quiet in an argument. Each one is often trying to protect you from something, even when the result causes problems of its own. In therapy, we slow down long enough to understand what that something is.
You don’t need to learn a new vocabulary to do this work. If “parts” sounds awkward to you, we can use your words instead.
What Can Change?
The aim isn’t to get rid of any part of you. The aim is a better working relationship with all of them.
That can mean less time fighting yourself. A clearer sense of why you react the way you do. More room to choose your response in the moment, at work, at home, and in your relationships.
IFS Training and Teaching
As both a Certified IFS therapist and program assistant for ongoing IFS trainings, I remain invested in continuing learning and growth as an IFS therapist and educator.
Core IFS Training
• Level 1 Training, Summer - Fall 2022
• Level 2 Deepening & Expanding, Spring 2026
Teaching Experience
• Level 1 Program Assistant, Fall 2023
• Level 1 Program Assistant, Summer - Fall 2026
• Level 2 Program Assistant, Spring 2027
Advanced Training
• Supporting Unburdening: with Chris Burris, August 2025
• Common Stuck Points: with Chris Burris, December 2025
FAQ about Internal Family Systems (IFS)
What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?
IFS is a parts-based approach to therapy that treats the mind as a system of distinct perspectives — each with its own viewpoint, feelings, and protective function. In sessions, you develop a relationship with your parts rather than trying to suppress or override them. Over time, parts that have been carrying pain or stuck in protective roles can release those burdens and shift. The result is less internal conflict and greater access to clarity, calm, and self-compassion.
How does IFS differ from other approaches?
Most approaches treat problematic thoughts, feelings, or behaviors as symptoms to be managed or corrected. IFS treats them as communications from parts of us that are trying to help, often in ways that worked at one point but may no longer be serving you. This distinction — from pathologizing to getting curious — changes what therapy feels like from the inside.
What does an IFS session actually look like?
Sessions vary depending on your needs. Early sessions often involve getting to know parts — understanding what they do, when they show up, and what they're protecting. Later sessions may involve going deeper with parts carrying old pain — and offering them healing. The pace is collaborative and deliberate.
Is IFS right for me?
IFS can work for a wide variety of issues, and can be particularly helpful for people who understand their challenges intellectually but find that understanding alone doesn't change how they feel or behave. It is particularly well-suited for trauma, self-criticism, compulsive behavior, and relationship difficulties.
What states do you practice IFS therapy in?
I offer IFS therapy virtually in New York, New Jersey, and Colorado.